For Veterans Returning From War and Their Families

I did my Talk Therapy radio program last Monday on war veterans returning from combat. You may want to catch it at www.ksgvradio.com. Although most of us appreciate the bravery of our soldiers and their efforts to protect us, I wonder how many of us really know and understand what a soldier deals with daily in combat and how difficult the transition back to civilian life can be. If you are a returning vet or a loved one of a vet; you should read this article!
Ilissa

The War Experience

Although U.S. military personnel receive extensive pre-combat training, war-zone experiences tax soldiers physically and emotionally in ways for which no training program can adequately prepare them. The horrors of war to which soldiers are exposed include:

•Reality-based fear of their own imminent death.
•Having to kill.
•Experiencing the sight, sound, and smell of dead or dying people (e.g., friends, civilians, enemy soldiers) with no opportunity to adequately grieve.
•Handling dead bodies and body parts.
•Observing devastated homes and communities and homeless refugees.
Even soldiers who have not been exposed to such traumatic experiences have endured daily, lower-magnitude events and circumstances which commonly exacerbate stress in war zones. Among these are: Read More>>>

Increasing Intimacy in Marriage

Many of the couples I see say that they feel a lack of intimacy in their relationship. How many of us truly know what intimacy is or how to create it? How many of us have difficulty with intimacy because of our own issues? Read the article below and then see if you can build more intimacy in your relationship with your partner.
Ilissa

What Is Marital Intimacy?

Intimacy is the closeness of your relationship with your spouse -- emotionally, spiritually, intellectually, sexually, and in many other ways. Intimacy is not an end goal but rather a journey that lasts throughout your marriage. Marriage and family researchers Schaefer and Olson (1981) describe attaining intimacy as "a process that occurs over time and is never completed or fully accomplished" (p. 50). As you both grow and develop, each of you changes. If you neglect intimacy in your marriage, you will grow apart. The time to work on intimacy is now.

Benefits of Intimacy in Marriage
Studies show that marriage offers many benefits. According to Olson and Olson (2000), "Married people tend to be healthier, live longer, have more wealth and economic assets, and have more satisfying sexual relationships than single or cohabiting individuals. In addition, children generally do better emotionally and academically when they are raised in two-parent families" (p. 3). Read More>>>

Death of a Parent

Sometimes when we lose a spouse we are so wrapped up in our own grief that we forget about the children's needs. Some adult needs to focus on the effects on the children and help them to process their grief and fears. The article below will explain the experience of a child who loses a parent.
Ilissa

The death of a parent is one of the most devastating and challenging things that can happen to you as a young adult, regardless of your relationship with your parent or whether you live together. Facing death can be sad and frightening to anyone, but as a young adult, you are coping with physical and mental changes and this event can complicate an already difficult situation. Through all the pain, grief and confusion, carry the knowledge that if you can survive this, you can survive anything.

When a parent or (grandparent) dies, it’s often hard to know what the youngest members of the family are going through. Young children--your brothers or sisters--may seem indifferent or oblivious, but they are likely going through intense and confusing emotions for which they need support. Read More>>>

How To Talk to Your Partner About Your Sexual Issues or Concerns

It's not always easy to have a good mutually satisfying sexual relationship with your partner. It can be even harder to discuss. Don't be shy! How will your partner know what you need if you don't tell them? We all have differing beliefs regarding sex and levels of comfort. There is no right or wrong in sex as long as both partners are comfortable and safe. This is something that the two of you can create togeher and it all starts with a conversation...
Ilissa

Whether we are in a brand new relationship or have been married for forty years, when it comes to talking with our partners about sex, panic can often set in.
When we imagine the potential for rejection and drama, taking a risk like that with someone we love can often feel too great. This is probably the reason so few of us do try to share the really difficult stuff of our sexual lives. Here are ideas on raising those hard-to-raise issues.

Difficulty: Hard
Time Required: Allow as much time as possible.
Here's How: Read More>>>

Having Trouble Falling Asleep?

Many of my clients tell me that they can not fall asleep at night. Dr. Carol Ash has written an article that shares a variety of suggestions for getting to sleep. Try them and let me know if it helps.
Ilissa

According to researchers from Carnegie Mellon University in Pittsburgh, those who sleep less than seven hours a night are nearly three times more likely to develop a cold than those who get eight or more hours of shuteye.

“This study further supports just how important a consistent sleep schedule is to our health,” says Dr Carol Ash, a leading sleep expert and medical director of the Sleep for Life center in Hillsborough, NJ. Here’s what else Dr Ash had to say.

Sheknows.com (SK): What does this study say about the importance of sleep?

Carol Ash (CA): It shows what those of us in the sleep field have been trying to stress for years: Less sleep impairs the immune system and has a direct physiological impact. If you don’t get the right amount of sleep, you increase your risk of not only colds, but hypertension, strokes, heart attacks, and a slew of emotional issues as well.

SK: And how much is the “right” amount of sleep? Read More>>>