Good morning couples! I hope you slept well. When you are awake, think of one thing that you can do for or with your partner, that will make them happy.
I hope you found time this weekend to be alone and enjoy one another! If not, there’s still today. If you are struggling with some kind of issue this weekend, I hope you make time to sit down and honestly discuss your ideas and feelings with one another. Don't sweep it under the rug. It plants seeds of resentment which bleed out into everyday interactions with one another.
Try using “I statements”, when you share your thoughts. It goes something like this. “I feel” _________, when you ________, and I would prefer or I need for you to________.
When you address your partner in this way, he/she will be more responsive to you and feel less defensive. Always give your partner the benefit of the doubt and ask clarifying questions before deciding what they might be thinking or doing. Remember, you’re not a “mind reader” and every thought you have about another person says something about “you” too! Good luck with that!
As well as doing something nice for one another, don’t forget to do something for yourself today. You will always feel more loving toward your partner, if you are meeting your own needs as well. Besides, tomorrow’s a work day, so get out there and have some fun, even if it’s only for a couple of hours!
Share something you and your partner did this weekend that made you feel connected to one another…
Sunday, August 30, 2009
Saturday, August 29, 2009
I'm Right! No, I'm Right!
Do most of your arguments with your significant other turn into a who's right, who's wrong battlefield? There is no right or wrong, just different perspectives. Do you want to be right or happy?
When a person feels safe in a relationship they can tolerate differences more easily.Try calming yourself by taking 3 deep breaths and listening quietly, no interrupting, until your partner has finished speaking. If you like, get a pad and write down the topics you want to respond to later, when it's your turn. This way you won't forget. See if you can find at least one idea that your partner shared, that you can agree with. It's very validating.
Now when you share your idea, your partner may be more receptive. However, sometimes, you just have to agree to disagree! If your relationship has a solid foundation of fondness and admiration; your relationship should be able to tolerate differences. After all, we're not the same people. We all grew up in different environments and come with varying belief systems. Learning to respect your partner's ideas is the first step towards working as a team. When you can listen to your partner with an open mind, you will be surprised at how many good ideas he/she may actually have and how more willing he/she is to listen to your ideas!!
Share your stories....
When a person feels safe in a relationship they can tolerate differences more easily.Try calming yourself by taking 3 deep breaths and listening quietly, no interrupting, until your partner has finished speaking. If you like, get a pad and write down the topics you want to respond to later, when it's your turn. This way you won't forget. See if you can find at least one idea that your partner shared, that you can agree with. It's very validating.
Now when you share your idea, your partner may be more receptive. However, sometimes, you just have to agree to disagree! If your relationship has a solid foundation of fondness and admiration; your relationship should be able to tolerate differences. After all, we're not the same people. We all grew up in different environments and come with varying belief systems. Learning to respect your partner's ideas is the first step towards working as a team. When you can listen to your partner with an open mind, you will be surprised at how many good ideas he/she may actually have and how more willing he/she is to listen to your ideas!!
Share your stories....
Thursday, August 13, 2009
Relationships 101: What is Divorce?
The recent statistics show that over sixty percent of marriages end in divorce. Many of these divorces come from second and third marriages. What is divorce and why is it so prevalent today?
Fifty years ago, the marriage philosophy was quite different than it is today. When people made vows to be together 'til death do us part, it was not only a moral commitment but a religious rule. Even if times were tough, there was rarely talk of divorce and only in the extreme circumstances. A divorce is basically a legal process that dissolves the agreement of marriage and distributes the property among the couple. Some religions require a formal process to absolve the marriage under the eyes of God such as an Annulment.
Years ago divorce was looked upon as a last resort and was often shameful. Society and family members shunned the divorcee from their lives as if they committed a crime . . .
Read More >
Fifty years ago, the marriage philosophy was quite different than it is today. When people made vows to be together 'til death do us part, it was not only a moral commitment but a religious rule. Even if times were tough, there was rarely talk of divorce and only in the extreme circumstances. A divorce is basically a legal process that dissolves the agreement of marriage and distributes the property among the couple. Some religions require a formal process to absolve the marriage under the eyes of God such as an Annulment.
Years ago divorce was looked upon as a last resort and was often shameful. Society and family members shunned the divorcee from their lives as if they committed a crime . . .
Read More >
Tuesday, August 11, 2009
Counselors: Couples Need to Communicate to Survive Strain
Couples must keep the lines of communication open to survive the stress of foreclosures and financial problems that could put them at risk of divorce, said Katherine Hertlein, an assistant professor at the University of Nevada, Las Vegas.
We see a lot of people struggling with these issues internally," said Hertlein, who works in the university's Department of Marriage and Family Therapy.
The department operates a clinic and offers low-cost or free counseling to university students and employees as well as members of the community.
When couples are facing financial problems, women often try to provide more financial help by taking on one or more part-time jobs, taxing themselves physically and psychologically, Hertlein said.
Read More >
We see a lot of people struggling with these issues internally," said Hertlein, who works in the university's Department of Marriage and Family Therapy.
The department operates a clinic and offers low-cost or free counseling to university students and employees as well as members of the community.
When couples are facing financial problems, women often try to provide more financial help by taking on one or more part-time jobs, taxing themselves physically and psychologically, Hertlein said.
Read More >
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
