Death of a Parent

Sometimes when we lose a spouse we are so wrapped up in our own grief that we forget about the children's needs. Some adult needs to focus on the effects on the children and help them to process their grief and fears. The article below will explain the experience of a child who loses a parent.
Ilissa

The death of a parent is one of the most devastating and challenging things that can happen to you as a young adult, regardless of your relationship with your parent or whether you live together. Facing death can be sad and frightening to anyone, but as a young adult, you are coping with physical and mental changes and this event can complicate an already difficult situation. Through all the pain, grief and confusion, carry the knowledge that if you can survive this, you can survive anything.

When a parent or (grandparent) dies, it’s often hard to know what the youngest members of the family are going through. Young children--your brothers or sisters--may seem indifferent or oblivious, but they are likely going through intense and confusing emotions for which they need support. Read More>>>

How To Talk to Your Partner About Your Sexual Issues or Concerns

It's not always easy to have a good mutually satisfying sexual relationship with your partner. It can be even harder to discuss. Don't be shy! How will your partner know what you need if you don't tell them? We all have differing beliefs regarding sex and levels of comfort. There is no right or wrong in sex as long as both partners are comfortable and safe. This is something that the two of you can create togeher and it all starts with a conversation...
Ilissa

Whether we are in a brand new relationship or have been married for forty years, when it comes to talking with our partners about sex, panic can often set in.
When we imagine the potential for rejection and drama, taking a risk like that with someone we love can often feel too great. This is probably the reason so few of us do try to share the really difficult stuff of our sexual lives. Here are ideas on raising those hard-to-raise issues.

Difficulty: Hard
Time Required: Allow as much time as possible.
Here's How: Read More>>>

Having Trouble Falling Asleep?

Many of my clients tell me that they can not fall asleep at night. Dr. Carol Ash has written an article that shares a variety of suggestions for getting to sleep. Try them and let me know if it helps.
Ilissa

According to researchers from Carnegie Mellon University in Pittsburgh, those who sleep less than seven hours a night are nearly three times more likely to develop a cold than those who get eight or more hours of shuteye.

“This study further supports just how important a consistent sleep schedule is to our health,” says Dr Carol Ash, a leading sleep expert and medical director of the Sleep for Life center in Hillsborough, NJ. Here’s what else Dr Ash had to say.

Sheknows.com (SK): What does this study say about the importance of sleep?

Carol Ash (CA): It shows what those of us in the sleep field have been trying to stress for years: Less sleep impairs the immune system and has a direct physiological impact. If you don’t get the right amount of sleep, you increase your risk of not only colds, but hypertension, strokes, heart attacks, and a slew of emotional issues as well.

SK: And how much is the “right” amount of sleep? Read More>>>

Children & Divorce: Telling the Children

Telling the children that you are going to get divorced can be a very difficult obstacle to overcome, but it is something that must be done in order for the children to begin to accept this dramatic change in their life. Research shows that children reared in an environment where there is tension will be more traumatized than a child reared in a divorced home, tension free enviroment. If children see parents constantly abusing each other, whether it be verbally or physically, the child will ultimately suffer.

It is possible for children to thrive in a divorced home, provided they are under the right parental conditions. One of the first ways that a parent can help a child is by telling him or her about the divorce. Remember, children of all ages will be affected by their parent's divorce. Following are some tips on telling the children.
Read More>>>

The Highs and Lows of Holiday Romance

Christmas and New Years are right around the corner. The magic of the holiday can encourage holiday romance. It’s important to make both partners’ expectations clear so that no one is left disillusioned, disappointed, or stalked!

The following article describes the ups and downs of holiday romance and list ways for you to enjoy the romance while protecting your heart and getting your needs met as well.

Happy Holidays!
Ilissa

A holiday romance can sweep you off your feet and also leave you feeling deserted and heartbroken. Follow these tips to ensure your summer fling goes with a swing

You're more likely to have a romance on holiday than at home. It's a fact. You feel physically relaxed and emotionally renewed, you're away from your daily routine and the stresses and strains of home and work - basically, you're ready to fall in love. And why not?

But is a holiday romance a good idea or serious mistake? Susan Quilliam looks at the positives and negatives of holiday love affairs, and offers solutions to all possible problems.

1. The ups and downs of holiday flings
A holiday fling can make you feel like a queen and boost your confidence sky-high. However, on the down side, if he's keener than you, you could be left feeling under pressure, pestered and even stalked. Read more >>>

Cougars and Their Cubs

*Editor’s note: Names of some of the interviewees have been changed for privacy.

Annette Wheeler* didn’t recall the exact moment she first heard the term “cougar,” but she did remember dashing to her computer to look it up. To her shock and bemusement, there was a new term to describe what she had been doing most of her life—dating younger men.

Wheeler, a fiery redhead who lives outside Baltimore, leaned back in her chair and sighed. “I adore younger men,” the 60-year-old purred. “I liked younger guys even when I was in high school—like a year or two younger. I was a cougar before there were cougars.”

Indeed, Wheeler’s pre-marriage and post-divorce dating history reads like a steamy screenplay. She listed a string of young men with whom she had various relationships, occasionally punching numbers into a calculator to determine age differences she had never considered in the first place. She never analyzed her attraction to younger men (or their attraction to her), but with “cougar” an increasingly popular term used to describe older women dating significantly younger men, her longtime preference is suddenly in the spotlight.

Read More >

A Guide to Surviving Thanksgiving Sports

The idea of being a sports widow sounds funny but for some women this can be a serious issue. They not only lose their husbands/partners to sports on major holidays but almost all year round through each and every sports season.

It's not only the loss of time spent together but it can also be the source of some unbalanced distribution of chores and family time.

When you read the article below, see if you can decide which kind of sports widow you are. The compromising sports widow may be where it's at for you but remember to plan ahead with your partner for division of tasks for preparation, visiting with family, cleanup, "me" time, "we" time, and family time . If everyone's needs are met chances are there will be less resentment, more cooperation, and better respect of one another's interests and time.

Wishing you a Happy Thanksgiving!

- Ilissa


by Nan Hall

Got game? Nearly 400 years after the first Thanksgiving occurred at Plymouth, this is still the question. But you know I'm not talking about the Wampanoags bagging turkeys for the first harvest potluck. My reference is to the endless football and basketball games that compete for our sports fans' attentions during the four-day holiday marathon. Put that together with intense cleaning/cooking/entertaining, round-the-clock childcare and frequently dysfunctional family reunions and what's a Sports Widow to do?

I'm not so worried about the Avenging, Sabotaging and Enabling Sports Widows. Their strategies are pretty straightforward. They go something like this:

It's unlikely that any sports fans will be joining The Avenging Sports Widow this Thanksgiving. They've either fled and entered a Fan Protection Program or they're fertilizing her garden. She'll probably have a peaceful gathering with non-sports-loving friends, her cats, AMC, and Dr. Phil.

After The Sabotaging Sports Widow has finished cooking the meal, she'll engineer a mystifying power outage that debilitates the televisions in the house or she'll deploy her secret weapon -- a TV-B-Gone remote -- which she deftly conceals in her apron pocket . . .

Read More >